My Real Accent

I am Delightfully Baffled
by people who still ask
“What is your Real accent?”

On a base level,
Google me. Wiki me.
I’m not hiding the fact that
I was born in Seattle.

Which is entirely beside the point.

Why do we think that people have an
Inherent, homeostatic State Of Being?

We don’t pretend a maple tree
is Only a maple tree
while its leaves are Red.
That’s only One Stage
-a few weeks a year-
for a tree that was once
a seed
a sapling
all the while a growing, changing,
morphing entity.

Sometimes it has buds.
Then slowly, green leaves emerge,
which even then
change
yellow red brown
crumple die fall,
and the barren tree is
still
a maple.

How did you sound when you were
five?
twelve?
trying to be “Cool” in high school?

When we talk to a newborn,
our voice becomes
Ridiculous.
“And who’s a big boy?!
Are YOU a big boy?!
YesYouAre! Oh YesYouARE!”

Are you still being
You?

Yes.

But you wouldn’t use that voice
when you talk to your
Boss
or your Grandmother,
or that hot chick at the bar.

We humans are
Constantly
Changing.

I understand that this is Difficult
to shove into One Box.
Give One label to.
It’s confusing.

We Change
depending on where we are
whom we’re with
what we want…

The honest answer to the question of
Reality
is the one I’ve been giving all along:

They’re ALL Real.
They’re all “Me”,
(unless I’m playing a Character,
in which case, it’s the Character.)

I’m actually Like That.
I talk to myself in whatever voice
lends the most applicable
perspective
to the topic at hand.

It’s Super Helpful.
Try it!

So when I decide
Not to Edit Myself;
when I decide to be
REAL,
you get a smattering of voices/accents,
according to my mood and thoughts.

When I do interviews,
I’m usually able to stop myself
from switching accents,
because I’m aware that people expect
One.
This can be Boring to me
and often challenging,
especially if the interviewer has a
Fabulous Accent.

But watch any of my interviews
if you want the accent
that represents
where I’m From.
It’s not the accent that usually pops out
when I’m alone,
but if you need to assign
One
to me,
and you want it to be
Where I’m From,
go for it.

The Real Me
is incapable of being
confined
to
ONE
BOX.

My identity is very
Flexible.
I know that when I talk to a newborn
in Baby Voice,
I’m still me.
When I say, “Goodness!”
to my Grandma,
it’s because “Sh*t!” would not have the desired effect.
It’s just Me
Communicating
in a way she’ll understand.

When I go to France
and speak French,
I don’t Forget “Who I Am”,
I convey
who I am
in a way that makes sense
in France.

We all have
many
many
many
voices
or “accents”
that we use in different circumstances.

Perhaps you aren’t aware of it,
but you do too.

I’ll wager there’s a
Critical Voice
in your head
that sounds like your
Father or Mother
or a formative Teacher.
And if you criticize yourself
out loud,
you may sound a lot like them.

Is that your
REAL accent?!
Yes.
In that moment.
It’s a part of you.
We can never show ALL
the parts of our
kaleidoscopic selves
at once,
nor Cram them into
one voice
or one Representative Outfit.

 …For some reason,
I think people don’t believe a thing is
REAL
unless it’s ugly
or fearsome.

“The News”
as we call it,
is Not The Only Truth.
It’s usually the truth that creates
the most FEAR in the reader.

We think that people are only
“Being Honest”,
when they say all of the
Ugly, Fearsome, Mean Stuff
that crosses their mind.

But kindness is also true.
Beauty is also true.
Love is Real.
All the parts of me
and all the parts of
You
are REAL.